When I was a kid, I always eat while reading and my mother would come and turn the book upside. It was a habit that I couldn’t totally conquer. Then phone came and took over.

The toilet became the best place to respond to emails and messages but I knew it was wrong. I infected my kids and found it hard to reprimand them because Madam would always laugh loud in a cynical way suggestive that the snake cannot not birth a long thing , a message I always get.

A week ago I was at an upscale restaurant where some VIPs were also present. The Chief Cheff who said he has made the Michelin Star nomination thrice addressed everyone, spoke about some exotic culinary inventions they have and some of the exclusive recipes nobody can find elsewhere.

The man is French, and you know the French are so proud of their culinary expeditions that they always talk about it whenever they have opportunity, not to talk of a Cheff that believes he’s a celebrity of sorts. He even spoke in a way signifying that we were privilege to have him come out of his kitchen to address us.

While at it, he told everyone to turn their phones with the screen down facing the table. He took time to explain how mental interference through scrolling through our phones would affect our brains ability to fully get the taste and appreciation of his masterpieces.

He went ahead to educate us on how getting the brain too busy affects digestion process and the body’s ability to get nutrients from the food.

He ended the short lecture by adding that similar effects takes place when expelling the food. “Using your phone while popooing keeps you longer in the toilet, affects the process & quality of bowel movement, & can raise your risk of hemorrhoids (pile).”
He said it in that sweet unapologetic French accent.

I started reading up on it and found he was right.
~ Kelechi Deca